Once the difficult decision to end your marriage is taken, many find that the process feels all-consuming. Marjha Golding-Evans, Partner and Head of Family at RDP Law, guides you through with hints and tips for managing this challenging course of separation and divorce.
When your marriage or civil partnership comes to an end, it can feel an insurmountable task to navigate the process and come out the other end. Legal advice is one vital piece of the puzzle, as often missteps and the unintended consequences of informally agreeing interim arrangements can be avoided with early, professional advice. With the recent simplification and removal of ‘blame’ from the divorce application, it is hoped many couples can keep their focus on their finances and agreeing arrangements for their children.
Feeling financially confident and clear on what makes up your wealth now and, crucially, how you want that to be structured in the future, is at the heart of this. Advice is best approached collaboratively with your solicitor and financial advisor. Whilst financial separation can be a difficult journey to navigate when one party doesn’t want to recognise what a fair resolution is, expert advice should be at the heart of how you manage this. Ceri Griffiths, founder of Willow Brook Lifestyle Financial Planning, recognises that, to her clients, divorce can feel like having a second job:
“There is work to do, forms to complete, decisions to be made. These can all significantly add to the mental load, especially when you know that the decisions made could financially impact the rest of your life. Completing your due diligence is vital, and ensuring you are making decisions from a fully informed position is key.”
Even the most financially confident clients can find this daunting, so use your legal and financial experts and work together to evolve your approach.
For some, this work needs to run alongside coming to terms with the end of their relationship. The support of a therapist or divorce coach can be invaluable; but what do you do when dealing with an overwhelmingly challenging partner? Helen Villiers, a psychotherapist specialising in narcissism and emotional abuse, who co-hosts the podcast ‘In Sight’, says:
“Whilst you may be approaching your separation with dignity and honesty, when you’re met with a character who is emotionally abusive you need time, care and to have the emotional tools to deal with them.”
You need a team around you who understand these behaviours, and who don’t stoke the fires of animosity. You need a team around you who help you understand, make strategic decisions and find a way forward. You need the experts at RDP Law.
For tailored, expert advice, speak to a specialist in our team. Email marjha.golding-evans@rdplaw.co.uk or call 01633 413500.
You can contact Ceri Griffiths on ceri.willowbrook@sjpp.co.uk and Helen Villiers on helen@liberationtherapy.co.uk.
